If-Keane

[bongo]

A parody nicked from somewhere else,a mackems version of the classic Kipling poem If,

IF you can keep your job when all about you are losing their head
and blaming it on you,
If you can trust your squad when some fans doubt you,
but make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait to substitute and not be tired by waiting,
Or being pressured to, don't deal in pressure
Or being slated, don't give way to slating,
And yet don't look too good, by wearing kipper ties:

If you build a team of dreams - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think of tactic - and to make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by Shearer’s and Lawro’s to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your career to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with re trained tools:

If you can believe to create one team for winnings
And risk it on one turnout on pitch to dance with loss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never listen a word about your loss;

If you can drive your squad from nerve and sinew
To serve their team long after games are lost to gone,
And to hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with fans and keep your virtue,
Or walk with chairman - nor lose the common touch,
If neither Mags nor loathing fiends can touch you,
If all players count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving 90 minute
With every second worth of distance run,
Yours is the premier league and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a class Manager, my son!

[Crobinho]